Feeling Good Enough About Yourself: How to Let Go of Feelings of Inadequacy

Children are born feeling great. They know they are enough just being who they are with nothing to prove and no one to impress. They are free to express their individuality until, somewhere a long the way to adulthood, they are conditioned to fit in, play by the rules, and follow society's standards.

Children are taught to place politeness before honesty and image before authenticity. They are indoctrinated into a world where people suppress their true feelings, hide their soul's longings, and put their faith into limiting beliefs. It's no wonder so many people feel not good enough; they aren't honoring themselves.

Let Go of Not Feeling Good Enough

Not feeling good enough is a common syndrome for many people. Like a disability that prevents someone from living life to the fullest, feeling inadequate prevents people from speaking their truth, listening to their heart, and following their dreams. For some it's a door with a sign hanging above that reads, "Do Not Enter." For others it’s a sky-high wall that doesn't even have a door.

Those who do dare to open the door or scale the wall to pursue a life of integrity, freedom and purpose, are often met by the not-good-enough monster who hurls accusations of not being big enough, smart enough, fast enough, rich enough, or whatever messages of inadequacy that will stop a person in his/her tracks.

There are five keys to getting past this monster and eliminating feelings of inadequacy:

Choose to Feel Good Enough

Choosing to feel good is like choosing to be happy. It's a matter of making a decision and shifting perspectives. How do you want to feel? What would support that? Here are some suggestions:

Letting go of the past, others' opinions and societal conditioning, while honoring yourself, listening to your inner truth, and following your dreams will bring out the love and joy you were born with where the states of good enough and not good enough don't even exist.

The copyright of the article Feeling Good Enough About Yourself in Self-Awareness is owned by Gini Grey. Permission to republish Feeling Good Enough About Yourself in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Sep 4, 2009 8:14 AM

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :

Gini,

Thanks for this wonderful article! The key that I struggle with most often is #1: making peace with my past mistakes. And, #2: taming my inner critic (and I think those two are very closely related, because your inner critic can highlight your past mistakes and make them hard to forget and forgive).

Our thoughts are so powerful, and I believe we CAN choose to be happy and we CAN choose to feel good enough. It’s a habit.

And, it’s both liberating and daunting that we have so much power over our own lives. I think people tend to give their power away, don’t you?

Sep 4, 2009 1:54 PM

Gini Grey :

You're welcome, Laurie, and thanks for your comments. Our inner critic will pull all the strings to get our attention so if past mistakes is a vulnerable spot - look out!

I'm really big on looking at mistakes as gifts because I don't see how we could learn otherwise. Even when toddlers learn to walk, they fall down. Yet parents don't scold them for it, they just encourage them to get up again. I think we need to remember that we are learning new things our whole life, so falling from time to time is natural - it makes us stronger somehow.

I agree, it is both liberating and daunting to have so much power over our lives, yet when we have some tools (like choosing to think positively, forgiving ourselves, following our intuition) we step across the daunting side to the empowering side of life. And yes, I do think many people give their power away. That's why I feel it is my life purpose to guide people to own their power - whether through my writing, teaching or coaching. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone owned their power in a healthy, balanced, loving way!