Heal Yourself with Forgiveness

How to Forgive Yourself for Past Mistakes

© Gini Grey

Jul 23, 2009
Heal Yourself with Forgiveness, THEPALMER
Blaming yourself for mistakes doesn't help and only causes more pain. When you learn how to forgive yourself for past mistakes you free yourself so you can move forward.

Who hasn't said something that stung another, done something that made you cringe, or chose inaction in a case where action would have made a world of difference? No one can get through life without making mistakes, and one of the best ways to grow and evolve is by learning from mistakes. So why hold onto the painful past, when you can heal yourself with forgiveness?

How to Forgive YourselfThere are three important steps to follow in order to heal yourself with forgiveness: accepting yourself and the situation, having compassion, and understanding why the situation occurred so you can learn and grow.

  1. Acceptance. Accepting what happened from a state of neutrality instead of judgment is essential. Healing can't happen from a place of resistance. Acceptance doesn't mean condoning what happened, it just means acknowledging what happened outside of a right/wrong or good/bad dichotomy. Self-acceptance is also important. Notice what it feels like to accept yourself. Now add on to that by saying: Even though I made this mistake, I accept myself. Let that feeling of acceptance flow through your body.
  2. Compassion. To heal yourself with forgiveness it's important to have compassion. Look at the big picture of life to see how someone else in the same situation might have done the same thing. See how childhood wounds contributed, how your skill set and self-awareness at the time factored in, and how the surrounding circumstances played a role. Know that you did the best possible at the time.
  3. Understanding. In order to forgive yourself for past mistakes it helps to understand why things happened the way they did. Sometimes mistakes happen for the sole purpose of learning and growth. Make a list of the lessons and benefits that arose from past mistakes – what were the self discoveries, what strengthened, what softened, how are you a better person today because of what happened?

Experience Forgiveness

Forgiveness isn't just an action, it's a feeling or a state of being, the way peacefulness is a feeling state. Being in the state of forgiveness is very healing as it supports the release of judgments, blame and anything that doesn't support your highest good.

Try this exercise as a way to tune into forgiveness. Close your eyes and relax by taking a few deep breaths until you feel calm and peaceful. Then imagine a bouquet of beautiful soft pink roses out in front of you that are filled with the energy of forgiveness. Look at that energy of forgiveness in the roses and let your body match that feeling. Feel it flow through your whole body, down into the cells. Let go into it and release any un-forgiveness you've been holding onto.

Heal Yourself with Forgiveness

Acceptance, compassion and understanding are all aspects of forgiveness. It's possible to heal any situation by being accepting, compassionate and understanding with self and others. Forgiveness releases blame, judgment, and resentment, which supports healing and freedom.


The copyright of the article Heal Yourself with Forgiveness in Self-Awareness is owned by Gini Grey. Permission to republish Heal Yourself with Forgiveness in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.


Heal Yourself with Forgiveness, THEPALMER
       


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Comments
Jul 29, 2009 8:01 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
I also find that forgiveness -- of both self and other -- is a process. That is, I have to keep forgiving myself for some mistakes I've made. It's not a one-time thing! Eventually, though, I begin to feel I've let go of my guilt or self-blame, but it can take a long time.

I don't have kids, but I think parents have the biggest job of forgiving themselves for all sorts of big and little mistakes.

Thanks for this article, Gini. It's so important.
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