How to Be Happy
The Key to Attaining Happiness is to Embrace Your Past
Apr 29, 2009 Christin Aitchison
For many, one of the greatest obstacles in attaining happiness is the inability to let go of past negative experiences and perceptions, or the constant stress and worry about the future and what will be and what must be done. It is important to reflect on the past and grow and learn from it. Conversely, it is important to plan for the future.
What many people struggle with is the misconception that happiness is something that is "found;" it is not. One must choose to make happiness happenmselves. One of the easiest ways to do this is to embrace the past and to let go of any negative perceptions and energy that you may be harboring.
How Living in the Past Can Negatively Affect Your Happiness
Living in the past can be a damaging habit because one has a tendency to focus on negative experiences and carry those experiences into the present. One’s mind is easily plagued by perceptions and judgments about a negative experience. There is a fine line between perception and reality and often, as time goes by, one’s perception of a particular experience clouds the actual experience itself.
As noted in Lesley Strutt's article dated January 14, 2009 titled Barriers to Happiness, there is a "triad of 'games' people play – blame, defense and victim." When faced with a real or perceived negative situation, most people will seek to blame someone, will defend themselves or play the victim. These games are sometimes played to absolve oneself of their own culpability in a given situation.
A person’s mind is easily plagued by judgments and internal dialogue concerning other people and what they think. In order to choose happiness, a person must purge her mind of such negative thoughts and look at the past as an opportunity to learn and grow.
How to Achieve Happiness by Learning From the Past
It is very easy to become consumed by the past and guilt about mistakes that may have been made or opportunities missed. It is important not to dwell on the past but to use it as a learning experience for the present.
Mistakes are opportunities to evaluate oneself and to grow for the next experience. If a certain situation caused feelings of unhappiness in the past, it is crucial to introspect and come up with a solution to turn it into a winning situation.
You can do this by asking yourself some basic questions:
- What role did you play in the experience?
- How did you feel about yourself going into and during the situation?
- How did your personal perception of yourself affect your impression of the situation?
- How did your perception of the individual(s) involved affect your impression of the situation?
- What could you have done differently to change the outcome of the situation?
- Have you learned anything from the experience?
Asking these questions will enable you to embrace reality and re-evaluate your life with a rational and healthy perspective.
According to Tamara Warta’s article dated February 13, 2008, titled Understanding Mindfulness Meditation: A Mind Over Matter Approach to Life, found on the Life Script website, the goal is to discourage self-absorption and find peace and joy in all of the daily encounters of life. If you can answer these questions honestly, you should be able to let go of any negative feelings that you may be harboring and empower yourself.
Through introspection, healing and growth, happiness is an easily achieved state of mind. The challenge is to understand that happiness does not find you; you must choose to work toward it and embrace it.
Related Article:
Live a Happy Life by Living in the Moment
Learn From the Past to Achieve Happiness
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