People grow up believing the only way to have love is to receive it from someone else. This is a form of conditional love that often leads to codependent relationships and unhappiness. In reality, love emanates from the core of one's being, so it is always available for one to experience and share with others.
Self-love is the key to happiness so as people learn how to love themselves they release all the negative messages and invalidation that covered up their inner truth.
Undo the Blocks to Self-Love
Loving yourself is a two step process. The first step involves releasing the junk that covers up self-love.
- Let go of unloving thoughts. Judgments, criticism and blame, whether directed inward or outward, come from an unloving place. Choose to release these and practice focusing on acceptance, compassion and forgiveness for self and others. These are loving attitudes that lead to loving behaviors.
- Process and release emotions. Emotions are the body's way of expressing itself. When acknowledged and felt they release, allowing inner happiness to bubble forth. When they are suppressed or repressed, they become more painful. Feeling and processing emotions is a nurturing way to express self-love.
- Release the past. People often cover up their self-love by reliving painful past experiences in their mind or through sharing stories. Look for the lessons and growth opportunities from past experiences, forgive where you need to, let go and move into the present where all possibilities for love and happiness exist.
How to Love Yourself
The next step to increase self-love is to actively love yourself. Be your own best friend by treating yourself in the following ways.
- Be kind to yourself. Thoughts of encouragement, laughing instead of cringing at mistakes, smiling inwardly, giving oneself a break, are all ways to be kind and self loving.
- Nurture your body. Self nurturing acts such as eating nutritious foods, exercising, taking naps, going for a massage, spending time in nature, or doing whatever feels healthy for the body says that you love yourself.
- Respect yourself. When a person has self- respect they honor themselves, listen to their inner needs, and take care of themselves. These are all acts of self-love.
- Spend time with loving people. Love is contagious. When one person shines with inner love, it sparks the love in another. Hang out with people who love themselves and are supportive and loving to others – this will help you to love yourself.
- Meditate on love. Taking time to center within and sit in inner silence is a way to connect to the source of love. Thoughts float away like clouds in the sky, revealing a bright ball of love. Let this essence of love shine within you.
As you let go of the blocks to self-love and practice loving yourself on a daily basis, the essence of love will grow within you and spread into all parts of your life. Love and happiness will be an expression of your true nature.
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