Improve Low Self-Esteem
How to Overcome Negative Feelings of Self-Doubt
Overcoming the Inner Critic to Improve negative feelings associated with low self-esteem
Having low self-esteem is a common condition of the modern day. Unfortunately this affliction, which affects men and women alike, can have an extraordinary impact on day to day living, affecting people in a multitude of ways. The need for constant attention or approval is one symptom experienced and if the attention is not received, it can translate into feelings of rejection by the sufferer.
Even those seemingly confident in life, can still suffer from low self –esteem issues. The secret to overcoming these difficulties is to acknowledge the fact that there are issues and then seek out the answers so that any important changes can be made. Unfortunately, negative self-doubts often over-ride any positive feelings that the sufferer may have, making them question every little thing that they do. Sadly self –doubts can make them feel uncomfortable in their own skin; creating feelings of inadequacies.
The voices of the inner critic can become punishing, critical and cruel at times. The words which revolve around the sufferer’s head can seem real, sincere and honest. This inner critic is difficult to ignore but if the inner critic is not silenced, it can manage to erode away all self –confidence and belief.
Some examples of low self-esteem are:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Stress
- Relationship problems
- Under-Achieving
- Mood Swings
Often, problems begin during childhood. As we grow, we encounter others, all who have a variety of attitudes and issues. We absorb information from our surroundings and those connected to us like a sponge. Positive and negative data floods through our consciousness and messages become assimilated for future use. Experiences rain on us by the thousand, feelings, sensations and knowledge all accrue within us all, but some of those experiences or messages begin to spill their poison which spreads throughout.
It is important that the sufferer stops viewing themselves with critical eyes but to recognize the truth. If they cannot like themselves, others will respond accordingly.
Facing up to their demons is a step that some people would rather not make, but establishing the reason for the self-doubts is vital, acknowledging ghosts of the past can make for a much better future, but it does take strength and determination and in some cases, support from others.
The inner critic can be retrained, and this simply means, turning negative thoughts into positive ones although this takes time to master. Negative habits are slow to reform, but it is possible with determined practice.
Example of Negative Thought
‘I thought he said that he liked me, but he hasn’t rang, I bet it was all a lie and now he’s with someone else’
Example of Positive Thought
‘I’m surprised he hasn’t rung yet, hope he is ok. I expect he’ll ring as soon as he has a chance’
The brain is a creature of habit. Silencing the inner critic is possible but the time for these changes depend on a number of factors i.e. the determination of the person affected, their current circumstances, and the length of time that the pattern has been active.
Communicating openly and honestly with those around can also make a big difference.
Write down some declarations which are relevant to you such as:
‘I am special and I deserve to be treated as such’
‘I am honest and caring and I deserve someone honest and caring in return’
Pin them up where you can see them, memorize and repeat them whenever possible. Once the sufferer has taken those all important steps to recovering control over their self-esteem, the battle is almost won.
