A healthy person with positive self-esteem may occasionally notice his/her self-esteem change with life events. This is a very normal occurrence, however it is important to keep a check on self-esteem regularly. Sometimes people can go through life not knowing what has truly impacted their self-esteem because they do not know how to go about addressing the issue.
Having a greater awareness around the factors impacting self-esteem means that self image, confidence and self worth can be managed within the best of an individual’s capability which leads to greater empowerment and helps to build self-esteem again.
There are a whole host of reasons which can temporarily lead to negative self-esteem and the effects may well be temporary if dealt with immediately. This is not to say that an individual who experiences negative self-esteem will be completely “cured” immediately, but greater awareness around the area can lead to empowered decision making process.
It is important to reiterate there are some individuals who experience negative self-esteem for longer periods of time. Such readers may not benefit too much by reading this article and instead may wish to need consult with professionals, in helping them achieve their desired aims and goals.
What Factors Impact Negative Self-Esteem?
The list of factors negatively impacting self esteem is endless, but below are some factors which can lead to negative self-esteem:
- Job redundancy
- Financial debt can also impact financial self-esteem
- Global economic climate
- Changes in career
- Changes in lifestyle
- Looking to others to validate existence
- Seeking approval from others and not getting the approval
- Lack of understanding of personal and professional values and how this can impact personal and professional experiences
- Buying into other people’s values and belief system even though this may be incongruent with the individual’s value and belief system
- Limiting beliefs
- Bereavement
- Divorce/split from boyfriend/girlfriend/partner
- Wanting to “fit in” but constantly feel like a “pariah"
All of the above factors can play an instrumental role in taking an individual by surprise and the emotions can range from feeling:
- Angry
- Disillusioned
- Tearful
- Scared
- Fearful of the future/present
- Bitterness
- Helpless
- Feeling out of depth
- Feeling loss personally and professional
- Insecure
- Loss of confidence
- Loss of self image
- Less self-worth
- Very sensitive to constructive criticism
- Feeling tired and lethargic because of the toll on emotional energy
- Loneliness
What to do When Negative Self-Esteem Makes an Appearance?
First and foremost, it is imperative to appreciate that there are no hard or fast rules to overcoming negative self-esteem. Nor are there any quick fixes to restoring self-esteem to positive levels. What works for one individual may not necessarily work for another, which is why it is important for an individual to select activities which work best for him/her. This comes as a result of trial and exploration!
Exploration is definitely the operative word here because it enables the individual to proactively seek answers, whilst all the time thinking of potential solutions which may remedy the temporary dip in self- esteem. However, the exploration process does require honesty from the individual as well as the determination to take accountability and responsibility to seek effective solutions.
Some questions which may assist in the exploration stage are highlighted below:
- At what stage did self-esteem take a dive?
- What factor(s) led to negative self-esteem?
- What are/were the consequences of negative self-esteem?
There are a number of additional activities which may benefit an individual including the following:
- Daily affirmations
- Daily journaling
- Seeking the services of a reputable coach
- Setting aside time daily to reflect on successes to date. This activity is very effective in boosting confidence and motivation
- Taking each day as it comes because the future can seem like an overwhelming abyss
- Positive self talk
- Carrying a notebook to make a note of the times and incidents leading to triggering negative emotions
An individual need not feel that s/he has to deal with the process alone because there are professional people, who can successfully assist in helping an individual raise his/her self-esteem. In this instance there is no harm in seeking counsel and advice as and where the individual sees fit. The key here would be to utilise the services of a professional coach objectively, rather than seeing the professional as a savior to solve all the individual’s problems.
It is important to understand that the onus lies with the individual to be accountable and responsible, if the process is to be effective in the long term. If managed well, then the individual can continue to enjoy healthy personal development for longer and sustainable periods of time. Such an approach will inevitably lead to further insights and clarity.
Readers may also enjoy reading higher self-esteem and positive mindset and the power of self talk.
References:
- Caunt, John. Creating Success: Boost Your Self Esteem. Kogan Page. October 2002.
- Dweck, Carol. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Ballantine Books. December 2007.
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