Is it Stress or Normal Grief?
How to Decide If You Are Grieving, Stressing or Feeling Both
Aug 19, 2009
Grief and stress are two of the body's responses to an external event. These two responses may overlap and be experienced separately or at the same time. It is possible that grief and stress can be two different responses to the same event, like the loss of a job or the death of a loved one.
Learning more about normal grief and stress responses can help someone experiencing either of these different responses to determine the best approach for coping and managing either of these responses.
Defining Grief and Stress
The definitions of grief and stress are very similar:
- Grief is is the body's normal response to a loss. This response often involves physical, emotional, behavioral and social reactions to a loss, change or end in familiar patterns.
- Stress is the body's response to life's changes and demands. This response also involves physical, emotional, behavioral and social response to change.
Grief could be considered to be a stress response to a loss, like a loved one's death.
Grief vs. Stress
Many people experience a normal grief response — often an overwhelming feeling of sadness — after living through a major loss or life changing event. The normal grief response is often an intense emotional and physical response to the loss, which may come in waves and is generally not present all the time.
When the body is under stress, it responds with what is termed as the fight-or-flight response; this response results in the release of hormones that speed up the heart rate and get the muscles ready to stand and fight or turn and flee from a stress source.
Some stress is necessary to get people up and going in the morning, get them to finish projects or to their work. Too much stress is what happens when the person is given more than he or she feels he or she can handle, much like trying to juggle too many balls at the same time. Too much stress over a prolonged period of time can lead to health problems.
A key difference between grief and stress it that some of the symptoms of normal grief — numbness, denial, helpless and sadness — can also be those of depression.
Signs and Symptoms of Grief
The signs and symptoms of grief and stress can be very similar. In the review article "Life after Death: A Practical Approach to Grief and Bereavement" prepared by Dr. David Casarett, Dr. Jean Kutner and Dr. Janet Abraham for the End-of-life Care Consensus Panel of ACP-ASIM, grief is characterized by the following signs and symptoms:
Psychological or behavioral symptoms include:
- Helplessness
- Sadness
- Anxiety
- Disbelief
- Apathy
- Irritability
- Poor concentration
- Numbness
- Denial
Physical symptoms include:
- Change in weight - gain or loss
- Fatigue
- Headache
- Palpitations
- Chest pain
- Stomach ache
- Intestinal distress
Not everyone who experiences grief will experience profound sadness and depression. Many experience anger in response to the loss. The grief response most likely to result in a stress response is the response that results in symptoms of irritability, frustration and anxiety.
Depending on the type of loss, normal grief often improves within a few weeks of the loss and is often improved within six months. However, it is important to note there are some losses like the death of a loved one that people never get over. Instead the person learns how to live in a life forever changed by the loss.
Signs and Symptoms of Stress
Symptom of stress can be similar to those experienced by someone who is grieving a loss or is depressed. According to the 2009 article, "Stress symptoms: Effects on your body, feelings and behavior," written by members of the Mayo Clinic Staff, the symptoms of stress include the following manifestations.
Psychological or behavioral symptoms include:
- Problems focusing
- Lack of energy
- Anxiety
- Restlessness
- Worrying
- Irritability
- Anger
- Depression
Physical symptoms include:
- Change in eating causing weight gain or loss
- Headache
- Palpitations
- Chest pain
- Stomach upset
- Intestinal distress
- Sleep disturbances
Stress can continue for as long as the stress sources remain; stresften goes away when the stress sources are removed. When stress sources can not be removed (like problems with a supervisor or co-worker at work, coping with an ex spouse or diagnosis with a chronic illness) learning healthy strategies to manage the stress can help lessen the stress and make it more bearable.
The WebMD and Mayo Clinic websites offer online interactive stress assessments that can help a person determine his or her stress level.
Coping with Grief or Stress
Fortunately many of the ways of coping with grief work as well with managing stress:
- Understand the grief or stress response.
- Take care of yourself.
- Get enough sleep.
- Eat healthy foods.
- Exercise. Even short walks can reduce stress.
- Remember breathing helps to relax.
- Find healthy ways to manage the grief or stress like meditation or a hobby.
- Accept support from others to help cope with the grief or reduce the stress.
If someone is still in doubt whether he or she is experiencing a normal grief response or stress, or a combination, her or she should seek medical treatment for an evaluation by a health care professional or grief counselor; these professionals can help make the final decision if whether it is grief or stress or even depression.
Resources:
- Casarett D, Kutner JS, Abrahm J. Life after Death: A Practical Approach to Grief and Bereavement. Ann Intern Med 2001;134:208-215.
- American Psychological Association. 2008. Stress Tip Sheet. Stress in America.
- Dyer KA. 2008. Is it Normal Grief or Depression? Suite 101.
- Dyer KA. 2008. Breathing Techniques to Reduce Stress. Suite 101.
- Dyer KA. March 2004. Understanding the Grief Response and Creative Ways to Cope. Presentation for Hospice of the Sierra, Visiting Nurses' Association.
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