Living Life Positively
Freedom from guilt, needing approval, or desire for money
Learn about some of the unconscious negative driving forces in life. Find out how to make changes and start to live with a positive purpose that brings happiness.
People generally look for meaning in life and try to live with some purpose. Many would say they live for their children, or they are driven by the desire to write, or to succeed in their career, but sometimes there are other things that drive them. Unconscious things that might have a negative impact on life.
In his book, The Purpose Driven Life, Rich Warren asks some very good questions. For example: "what would your friends and family say is the driving force of your life? What do you want it to be?"
Some Unconscious Drivers
- Guilt
Many people are trapped in the past. They regret things that happened long ago and imagine that other people who were involved feel angry towards them. Unconsciously, they might believe that as they are guilty of some wrongdoing, they deserve to be punished and therefore they refuse to allow good things into their lives. There is a solution. Make amends. Write to the people or person involved and apologise. The chances are they will have forgotten all about it anyway. Make peace and let it go. Look to this day, the present is guilt-free and happy!
- Approval.
Also known as people-pleasing, trying to please everyone, from parents, siblings and partners to friends, is not only exhausting, but impossible. When people are controlled by the need to be liked and have the approval of everyone, they lose sight of themselves. They forget their true purpose. They may be so busy being everyone else’s best friend that they are not a friend to themselves. Here the solutions lie in letting go of the need to be perfect and recognising personal authentic strengths. The more personal acceptance , the less reliance on the good opinion of others. The less striving to be the perfect wife, husband, mother, father, employee, son, daughter or friend, the more enjoyable life can be. Ongoing approval-seeking can create resentment towards others, whereas once a balance has been found, relationships become more harmonious and natural.
- Money.
During early adulthood, for many people money is a driving force. With luck and maturity it might level out by the thirties. Many people are driven by the belief that more money will bring greater security. Or that a bigger house will bring happiness. Retail therapy is not really helpful as it provides a brief lift at best, and you are often left with material things that are neither needed nor wanted. There is something more to this as well. Is self-worth measured by financial worth? “How much is he worth?” is a statement that always refers to money. Imagine answering the question from a different perspective. “He is worth my time and attention.” for example, would say a lot more about the person. Looking at the number of unhappy wealthy people shows that there is more to life than being rich. The quickest fix is to do something kind for someone else and notice what feelings arise.
Some of these issues can be worked through with therapists or life coaches, or even with a good friend. It is usually easier to have the support of someone who you can trust.
