Mistakes Were Made (but not by me)
Why we deny accountability for mistakes, decisions, and hurtful acts
Mistakes Were Made explains how cognitive dissonance prevents us from taking accountability for mistakes, foolish beliefs, and hurtful behaviors with self justification.
Mistakes Were Made (but not by me), by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson, describes in layman language the concept of cognitive dissonance and how it causes us to justify our mistakes, bad decisions, and hurtful acts. With fascinating examples ranging from justifying the war in Iraq to faked police evidence to marital infidelity, Tavris and Aronson dramatically explain the human tendency to shirk accountability.
What is Cognitive Dissonance?
Cognitive dissonance is the uncomfortable tension that occurs whenever we hold two thoughts that are psychologically inconsistent. The authors indicate that "dissonance is disquieting because to hold two ideas that contradict each other is to flirt with absurdity...and we humans...spend our lives trying to convince ourselves our existence is not absurd."
For example, if we believe ourselves to be fundamentally good people, the few times when we are hurtful to another person will cause dissonance because good people don't hurt other people. To relieve the stress this dissonance causes we rationalize the hurtful behavior by deciding the other person deserved it or somehow forced us into hurtful behavior. We might even claim lack of control due to alcohol, fatigue, or stress.
Self Justifying Behavior
The authors label the ways we relieve cognitive dissonance as self justification. We relieve the discomfort from dissonance stress by justifying, rationalizing, and selective recall.The human brain is wired to help us validate our beliefs and behaviors. A study of people who were processing dissonant information about a favorite politician showed that the reasoning areas of the brain shut down. Their brains simply stopped processing information that was inconsistent with the views they held about the politician.
The authors provide a highly visible example of self justification while describing President Bush's tenacious hold on the war in Iraq. "...the poster boy for 'tenacious clinging to a discredited belief' was George W. Bush. Bush was wrong in his claim that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, he was wrong in claiming that Saddam was linked with Al Qaeda, he was wrong in predicting that Iraqis would be dancing joyfully in the streets,...he was wrong in his gross underestimate of the financial cost of the war, and...when he was proved wrong in his original reasons for the war, he found new ones."
Accountability for Mistakes
Politicians are not the only ones who fall prey to cognitive dissonance. We all do. Every time we insist on justifying a decision and stubbornly maintaining a position despite evidence to the contrary, we're displaying self justification in relief of cognitive dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance is the reason people have a difficult time being accountable and admitting mistakes. Ironically, this is especially true of people with high self esteem. If we see ourselves as intelligent, a bad decision appears dumb. Simultaneously seeing ourselves as intelligent while admitting we made a dumb decision will cause the stress of cognitive dissonance, because our culture holds that bright people don't make dumb decisions.
Admitting Accountability for Mistakes
Being accountable and admitting mistakes is easier than it might seem. Our minds want to protect us from the pain of dissonance, but our souls rejoice when we display human vulnerability and admit our mistakes. With the real stories the authors provide of a few courageous people who owned up to their tragic mistakes, we see role models for accountability in action. Reading of the relief these people felt at not having to maintain the energy of self justification and rationalization is inspiring.
Mistakes Were Made (but not by me) is a humbling read, but invaluable for anyone seriously working on personal development and growth.
Related Article: Dan Gilbert Stumbling on Happiness
More related articles under Mind & Attitude in the index.
