TAKE CARE to Cope with Loss and Grief
Remember the Basics When Coping with Grief and Loss
May 4, 2009
When faced with a loss, a significant life change or a death, one of the greatest challenges for the person is figuring out what to do to make it through the first few hours and the first few days.
Grief and Loss Expert, Dr. Kirsti A. Dyer in a 2008 article published on How to Cope with Loss and Grief - Healthy Coping Strategies advised that "Sometime the best you can hope to do during times of challenge is remember the basics and take things one minute at at time, one hour at a time, one day at a time."
TAKE CARE of Yourself
The TAKE CARE acronym was developed by Dr. Dyer to be a useful reminder that helps grieving people focus on the basics following a loss, a death or other when grieving any significant life changing event.
- Time is needed to handle the grief.
- Avoid alcohol and other medications.
- Keep to some routine or schedule.
- Eat a balanced diet. Focus on healthy foods and water.
- Converse with others, especially those that have “been there” and “survived that.”
- Art projects can keep worried hands busy, whether journaling, building, crafting, knitting or in other ways.
- Rest and Sleep are important to help the body heal.
- Exercise to reduce stress and improve one’s mood.
These are the areas that a person needs to focus on during the initial shock phase, when coming to grips with a loss or death.
Remember to Breathe
In addition to taking care of oneself, it is also helpful during times when things get to be overwhelming to remember a simple mantra and breathe...just breathe. Using this simple mantra can be a helpful way to calm oneself during times of anxiety or stress.
When life gets to crazy, when things get to be overwhelming, when the grief gets to be too much, simply remember to breathe...just breathe.
Other Helpful Resources for Later in the Grieving Process
After the grieving person has made it through the first few days and initial shock there are other helpful resources for coping with a loss, a death or other significant life changing event; these include include camaraderie, comforting activities and recalling prior loss experiences.
- Camaraderie - Being around people and doing things that are nurturing and comforting can be very helpful to getting through the grieving process.
- Comforting Activities - What is a comforting activity varies for the grieving person. Some may find writing, crafting, creating or building to bring comfort. For others it is quiet time alone to think. Still others may find being active to be the most comforting.
- Recalling Prior Experiences - Remembering prior losses and remember the skills and the strengths allows the grieving person to call upon positive strategies used the last time to cope with a loss, death or significant life experience.
Remember to Focus on the Basics
Learning how to live again following a life challenge frequently requires digging in deep to uncover the grieving person’s inner strength just to make it through the day. Focusing on the basics can help in keeping the person going until her or she find his or her inner strength.
In a 2008 entry in her Grief, Loss and Transitions Blog, Dr. Dyer advises
"On life's most difficult days
all that we can do
is simply take things
Moment by Moment."
When coping with an overwhelming loss, such as the death of a loved one, it is important for the grieving person to TAKE CARE and focus on the basics necessities – food, sleep and exercise; this will help in caring for oneself. The best advice to remember is take it moment by moment.
Related Reading
To learn more, read How to Cope with the Death of a Child: A Reminder of Other Children's Deaths and Breathing Techniques to Reduce Stress. Focusing on How to Breathe Helps in Coping with and Reducing Stress.
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